A Dream
by Gulldara
Summary: It’s a dream, a childish, fantastical dream that burns inside me like a raging fire. It can’t be quenched because that feeling is always there. The jealousy is always there. Rating for implied suicide.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognize from the Harry Potter books, films etc. The plot, the idea is mine. I can easily use it as an original piece. Perhaps it will be better as an original piece of writing, I don't know.

**A Dream **

Is it right for me to feel like this? Is it right to feel unloved. Of course, I am loved in a sense. My friends love me… my family loves me, although at times it doesn't seem like it, but I want to be loved by somebody who is neither a friend nor a family member.

Scratch that, I want to be loved by someone I know, someone who wants to be my best friend and oh-so-much more. I want someone to take me in their arms and squeeze me tight, kissing the top of my head and my ears and my neck. I want to feel the tingling sensation on my lips as someone presses their own against mine. I want to feel intoxicated by them. I want someone who offers advice, someone who understands why sometimes I'm irrational, why sometimes I storm off in a huff. I want someone to dry my tears as I cry at night. I want someone to worry about me, to miss me when I'm gone. I want somebody to love me. Is that too much to ask?

Of course it is. How stupid can I be. It's a dream, a childish, fantastical dream that burns inside me like a raging fire. It can't be quenched because that feeling is always there. The jealousy is always there when I see some happy couple holding hands and laughing gaily. I wish I was in their place. I wish somebody would hold my hand, I wish somebody would take me out places- wining and dining at the most exquisite restaurants… or even something normal like fish and chips. I want that, I want all of it.

But it's only in my dreams where that comes true, it's only in my dreams where I am loved. If I keep on dreaming, keep on sleeping and dreaming it will happen. I will be loved. I need to sleep, I need to dream… forever. Because, it's only a dream and if I don't wake from that dream… it will never end.

I shall say goodnight, like normal, and I shall go up to my room, like normal and I shall say my prayers, like normal, I will get changed into my best set of pajamas and I shall make sure this note I have written is lying, visible on the bedside table.

Underneath my pillow there will be a small strip of metal shining as the moonlight filters threw my thin curtains. I shall turn it over in my hands, thinking about my dream, my ever lasting dream and then I shall determinedly climb into bed.

I shall sit there with the lustful metal in my hands and shaking slightly I shall bring it to my wrist and I will cut deeply more then once. And then as the blood begins to flow I shall take force myself to do the same to my other wrist. I will have enough time to leave the blood stained implement on this letter.

And as I lay back in the pillows, my sheets are now turning red and I will smile to myself and close my eyes, falling into my ever lasting dream. And my dream… my childish fantastical dream will last for an eternity because, for once, no-one can wake me up.

**-End-**

**A/N: **Well, that was… morbid. I had no intention of it turning out like that. I wanted to write Ginny Weasley as a child… maybe in her Third year, desperately wanting something that she couldn't have. Love, the love of The-Boy-Who-Lived, so in her desperation and despair she gets what she wants. To dream of love forever. Perhaps it could be an older Ginny Weasley realizing that her feelings are not reciprocated by Harry?

I'm not sure. This piece is going to be posted as an original too, because… well, it's more original then Harry Potter orientated. Just written with a Harry Potter character in mind.

For anybody who reads Shadows Falling or Forbidden Love, my apologies. I've been having a rough time at the moment… I guess if you want a deeper explanation then my LiveJournal would be an idea, however I've recently made it Friends Only. If you're really determined and have a LiveJournal I'll add you if you comment to do so. The link is in my bio.

Anyway, I apologize for the lack of updates I haven't really been writing recently and I don't think I will anytime soon. I've written some original stuff which can be found at my FictionPress account (link in my bio), but otherwise I don't have the time. Sorry.


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